Ambivalent
by whiteninja067
Summary: For someone who struggles from within herself, love will always be ambivalent.


Title: Ambivalent

Chapter 1 : To Come Undone

Author: whiteninja067

Anime: Card Captor Sakura

Note: This is supposed to be a 10 chapter series. Still a work-in-progress

Inspired by the placebo song, to come undone. Characters are not mine. (c) CLAMP

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><p><em>SCENE 1 – NAKURU AKIZUKI POV<em>

"This can't be, Daisuke… "

Nakuru held her tears back, trying not to look pathetic before the tall, blonde athlete. Her fingers kept on rumpling her skirt and straightening them back to release a crippling nervousness. It had only been weeks since she said yes to this man who had promised to love her. She thought he was it—someone who would finally accept her for who and _what_ she is. But here she was again, behind the same cherry blossom tree, for another overwhelming event of heart.

"It can't be helped, Nakuru. I didn't want this to happen. Neither did Ai. Nobody wanted this to happen."

Daisuke could not look straight at her. He was ashamed of what he has done but he did not regret it. They were having such a great time together. It was wonderful, too wonderful, that it had to end so soon.

"You could have, Daisuke!"

She had been exasperated by all the rumors that she resisted to believe; exasperated by all the pretense that had been happening around her. And finally, here she was, at moment of truth, dazed and confused on how all these had happened.

Touya glanced to the side of the soccer field where he heard the couple fight. It was a private affair but he could not help but look. Daisuke is his teammate and Nakuru is his friend. Somehow, he felt like he had to do something.

"You knew this was going to happen. You could have just left me alone!" she continued.

Nakuru felt something pelting from within her; as if there was something powerful, ready to strike back. Daisuke had impregnated one her closest friends, Ai Namikawa, and he did it just a few weeks before he confessed to her. Her fingers curled into a fist as she restrained from hitting him. He had damaged her so much but she didn't want to offend him.

"Look Nakuru, the truth is... I didn't mean us to happen either."

Now she's furious. She didn't expect him to say that; especially in an aloof and unforgiving manner. She felt her feet stomp its way towards him. Her right arm arched at a level, with her palm high, ready for an assault. She hit him hard and he didn't like it. For the first time on that day, he looked back at her. His eyes were filled with rage, far from the loving brown ones which she was used to seeing.

"Don't you understand it, Nakuru. THIS. IS. YOUR. FAULT. You wanted me so bad; I had to love you back!"

He yelled at her and she answered back. They exchanged bitter lines with each other. He grabbed and held her wrist high. On that moment, the physical pain she was experiencing was but a fraction of the one she felt within her. He strangled her and this had alarmed Touya, who happened to be nearby, fixing his gear.

"Daisuke, Stop!"

Touya rushed towards the scene, feeling a bit responsible. Nakuru yelped in pain, as Daisuke pushed her to the ground. Touya has never seen her look so pathetic. Of all people, she was the least likely to be in that situation. He tried to help her up but she pushed him away.

"I'm here to help you, Akizuki..."

"...Why would you?" Touya is shocked by her reply. He suddenly felt like a stranger to her.

"#!% , Kinomoto! This is none of your business." Daisuke growled at Touya, who was just kind enough to approach them. On the other hand, maybe he shouldn't have interfered.

"You were harming her and I was just trying to help." He stood with feet apart, in a stance to protect his presumed friend.

"You don't have to pretend to care, Touya. It's not helping." She blurted out coldly with her face, grimaced by how the things had turned out.

Touya froze at the moment she said that. He stood there, fixated at the girl who was tearing up but quick in brushing her sobs away. Even as she scrambled to stand, her eyes were steadily glaring at Daisuke.

"You know what? I think I'm better off on my own. All this is a mistake from the beginning."

Nakuru rose in agony. She was not ready to accept it. She was not ready to give back the love he gave. Daisuke knew how deeply she cared for him. He knew how this had hurt her. Despite, he also knew that nothing can be done to mend his mistake, which he continues to deny. She looked at him one last time before turning around and walking away. Her brisk movements suggest how anguished she was of the situation. It was as if she was still in disbelief that all of this just had happened.

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><p><em>SCENE 2 – SAKURA, SYAORAN, TOMOYO<em>

She held unto his arm, as if he were to disappear anytime. Her emerald eyes were filled with eagerness as she tried to talk him into it.

"Please, Syaoran-kun. We can do this together!"

"Err…"

"Plus you're really an excellent cook!"

Her lips were pouted, and brows were slightly furrowed. She was never the type to give up. She pulled him towards the bulletin board, once more.

_Cooking in the name of LOVE!_

_Will you be able prove it with your one and only?_

_All couples are invited to join._

She pointed at the prizes at stake. The grand prize was two tickets to a cruise ship. Second placers will get a chance to spend the night at a famous hot spring near Mt. Fuji. Third placers will win a date at a famous restaurant. There were also other prizes for special winners and crowd favorites. Everything looks extravagant.

She loved the idea but he was having trouble with it. It was certainly not because he's not a good cook. In fact, he's a genius when it comes to the kitchen. However, Syaoran, unlike Sakura, is a recluse. Thoughts of people observing his every move terrify him—especially when he's with Sakura whom he feels most vulnerable. Whenever he's with her, he could not gather his attention to whatever he is doing. Her smile, her smell, and her overall presence distract him. What more under the pressure of the public watching their every move_ as a couple_. He can feel his face twitch by idea of joining a contest together.

"Come on, Syaoran-kun. You and Sakura will look really cute together in matching aprons! I promise to make you matching toques too!"

Tomoyo squealed in delight with her eyes snuck to the scope of an ever handy camcorder. Speaking of a watchful eye, Syaoran had the most trouble with Tomoyo, recording his every move. Good thing, he was forgiving enough to let Sakura's number one fan take a snapshot of their moments together. In a sense, maybe he was already overcoming his fear of public places.

"Please!" The two girls begged him, fervently, in unison. He was still having qualms but the two girls are the most persistent.

"Fine… pff." His eyes were squinting and his smile was forced. Sakura lovingly pushed him for a hug.

"But we better win something…"

The two girls giddily giggled at his comment. His smile might be crooked but deep inside it makes him happy that he and Sakura are going really good together.

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><p><em>SCENE 3 – YUKITO &amp; TOUYA's POV<em>

"Good afternoon, Touya-kun!"

Touya glanced to the side of the school gate which was their usual waiting spot. His friend has been standing there with readiness despite carrying a heavy looking bag, tugged to his side. Yukito has waited for him, longer than usual. He waved as he approached Touya with a sincere and joyful smile. However, the closer he approached him, the sooner that he realized that something was wrong. His expression became a bit perplexed. His lovely brown eyes sparked an anxious curiosity and his mouth agape with awe.

"Oh Yuki, thanks for waiting..." Touya was standing there with a pained smile. His back was slumped and head was low.

"You look worried. Did something happen?"

"Ah, well… I'll tell you later."

Touya let out a sigh. He noticed the look on Yukito's face and shook his head to regain composure. Being the taller guy, he was able to wrap his arm around his neck and tussle up his grayish hair with confidence.

"Can we hangout at your place? I need some place to vent."

"Sure, Touya! I'll order a bunch of food for us. I think I have some extra money left from last week's day job."

"Thanks. Good thing you're here..."

Yukito smiled to his best friends' request. Touya continued to wrestle his hair as they walked home, trying to sway himself from the events that had just happened. Even so, it still bothers him. He knew that Nakuru Akizuki, being rejected by her supposedly first boyfriend, made him feel uneasy.

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><p>End.<p>

Hope this is fine. I am still trying to improve my writing skills so this story may seem experimental to some. Hope someone reads. Lol.


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